Dweef had a very strange Fourth of July.
After a long, hard day of horseshit at work, I decided it was prudent to do something i have not been inclined to do in quite a while. And that would be getting wasted wif some good ol' homies Psynut and Mack 10.
However, as soon as I showed up to the house everyone was getting in the car to go to "a party"
So i say fuck it, why the hell not. I jump in the V Dub and prepare for the worst/best.
We show up to this crib in Stuckagain Heights. Real nice place, most definitely a rich daddies house. The night is going as per usual with Guccimayne beats beerpong and hussies.
Needless to say, so far I'm down.
I get pretty drunk and Dweef decides he wants to come hang out.
All because of this semi-attractive girl wif doubledees.
We'll call her mamajohns, you know because of all the pizza involved.
So Dweef and Mamajohn hit it off pretty well with drunken conversations about existentialism and shitty music.
We smoke a cigarette and end up being alone.
Of course Dweef makes a move, being the pigdog that he can be.
Mamajohn seems down and wants to disappear with Dweef into one of the many rooms that have beds and locks and Daddy Warbucks' place.
They go upstairs.
The start off real well with the typical making out dry hump bologna.
Mamajohn is on the rag and Dweef wasn't really hoping for anything anyway.
Dome insues.
Dweef can both hear and see Mack10 and Psynut lol'ing at him through the mirror from the other room. At this point he doesn't give a fuck.
Mamajohn stops and says she doesn't feel good.
Dweef is agitated.
Mamajohn continues with the dome...
UNTIL!
Just then, quick as a flash and without warning Mamajohn spews chucks of red matter all up and down Dweefs erection.
Needless to say Dweef is not pleased.
Right as that happens Mack 10 sees his dick all covered in puke and assumes Dweef is gettin dat Ragtime lovin'.
But little did he know the bullshit that had just happened.
Dweef dips the fuck out and poor defenseless me is left with puke everywhere and a very embarrassed naked girl in a bed I'd never been in before.
I'd never gotten dressed so quickly in my life before.
The moral of the story is: Don't hook up with random chicks when you are drunk as fuck with S&M.
I had been doing a damn good job not being a little sinwhore until that fateful Fourth of July.
Perhaps it was a sign.
A smelly, chunky, horribly embarrassing sign.
After a long, hard day of horseshit at work, I decided it was prudent to do something i have not been inclined to do in quite a while. And that would be getting wasted wif some good ol' homies Psynut and Mack 10.
However, as soon as I showed up to the house everyone was getting in the car to go to "a party"
So i say fuck it, why the hell not. I jump in the V Dub and prepare for the worst/best.
We show up to this crib in Stuckagain Heights. Real nice place, most definitely a rich daddies house. The night is going as per usual with Guccimayne beats beerpong and hussies.
Needless to say, so far I'm down.
I get pretty drunk and Dweef decides he wants to come hang out.
All because of this semi-attractive girl wif doubledees.
We'll call her mamajohns, you know because of all the pizza involved.
So Dweef and Mamajohn hit it off pretty well with drunken conversations about existentialism and shitty music.
We smoke a cigarette and end up being alone.
Of course Dweef makes a move, being the pigdog that he can be.
Mamajohn seems down and wants to disappear with Dweef into one of the many rooms that have beds and locks and Daddy Warbucks' place.
They go upstairs.
The start off real well with the typical making out dry hump bologna.
Mamajohn is on the rag and Dweef wasn't really hoping for anything anyway.
Dome insues.
Dweef can both hear and see Mack10 and Psynut lol'ing at him through the mirror from the other room. At this point he doesn't give a fuck.
Mamajohn stops and says she doesn't feel good.
Dweef is agitated.
Mamajohn continues with the dome...
UNTIL!
Just then, quick as a flash and without warning Mamajohn spews chucks of red matter all up and down Dweefs erection.
Needless to say Dweef is not pleased.
Right as that happens Mack 10 sees his dick all covered in puke and assumes Dweef is gettin dat Ragtime lovin'.
But little did he know the bullshit that had just happened.
Dweef dips the fuck out and poor defenseless me is left with puke everywhere and a very embarrassed naked girl in a bed I'd never been in before.
I'd never gotten dressed so quickly in my life before.
The moral of the story is: Don't hook up with random chicks when you are drunk as fuck with S&M.
I had been doing a damn good job not being a little sinwhore until that fateful Fourth of July.
Perhaps it was a sign.
A smelly, chunky, horribly embarrassing sign.
jesus christ, puke on ya dick.
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